Pushing through the pain..I've always been good at that. I had four open heart surgeries growing up, three replacement surgeries for my defibrillator, and one gallbladder surgery. I know about pushing through the pain. I took no pain medicine during my last defibrillator surgery and my gallbladder surgery. I only took Tylenol in the evening to go to sleep. I don't like pain medicine. So, when it comes to pushing through the pain while walking, I'm getting better. I went a little further tonight...IN THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME...and I didn't realize it. I can't tell you the sense of accomplishment I feel. I am so proud of myself and what I have done so far. It's been a very long time since I have felt like this.
Thank you everyone for your support and encouragement. I will get around to all of you this weekend. TOMORROW's FRIDAY!
I have not taken a lot of time talking about my goals. I have primarily concentrated on my short term and daily journey. There have been a few reasons for this. I have concentrated on the short term and daily issues because looking ahead is too overwhelming. It's too scary. It makes me not be able to breathe. However, I have lost 28 pounds. 28 pounds. I can't believe. January 5, when I started, I never thought that by May I would have lost 28 pounds.
I still have 70 pounds to go. THIS is what causes me to not be able to breathe. THIS is what is overwhelming. I want to lose 100 pounds. I need to lose 100 pounds. I know that I will be the most healthy I can be if I lose 100 pounds. But it's crazy to think that I still have 70 to go. 70.pounds. I'm making such a big deal out of this because I haven't stopped to think about this yet. And maybe I don't need to yet. But, I'm starting to get serious about this journey...not that I haven't been already...but I'm starting to realize that it's possible. I'm starting to realize that I am worth this. I am worth feeling and looking the best that I can.
With all this, I feel like I need to still take it slow. I feel like those small goals I am making are the ones I need to stick to. Right now, my small goal is 235. Once I reach 235, I will think about what I need to do further.
By the way, I have walked twice today. I am so proud of myself. There are a group of ladies at work that walk during our 15 minute breaks. I walked with them and walked when I got home with Mocha. I think I will try to continue doing this. I want to create a calorie deficit of some sort.
I can do this. I know I can.
I am so proud of myself. I walked a little longer today. I took Mocha with me and bless her heart, even she was panting heavily when we were finished. She was ready to go home. I may walk after dinner as well. I am trying to do things in small increments so it's not so overwhelming. My legs always feel so good after I go walk.
I am losing weight at small increments and setting weight goals as well. I am losing 10 pounds at a time. My next goal is 235 and I am at 244.2 right now. If I lose 10 pounds at a time, it's not such a big challenge. I say to myself, "Self, you have lost 10 pounds..You can do another."
I hope everyone is having a good Monday or had a good Monday. The worst part is over. Four days til Friday!
Yesterday was an interesting day for me. My dad's side of the family had a family reunion. There has not been one in 15 years. I did not know hardly anyone but they knew my dad and knew of me. It was crazy looking around and seeing people I have never seen before and they look JUST LIKE ME..or at least they have similar features. It was crazy. Another thing I realized is there are a lot of overweight people in my family. Part of my ongoing issue is definitely genetic. I'm not using it as an excuse..that's just the way it is. There were more overweight people than normal weight people. I was actually on the smaller side. I enjoyed it though. I learned that my family is from all kinds of places but mainly Ireland. It's crazy though that there were not really any red headed people there. I saw mainly dark hair..just like mine.
I took some pictures of mine and Michael's house today. I wanted to post them here for everyone to see.
I will post more as time goes on. I am really falling in love with our house but at the same time, I am very overwhelmed by the thought of it. I am trying to take one day, one room at a time. Right now, we are working on the kitchen. We have painted the kitchen a green color and I want to put up a sunflower border. The ladder is in the way but you can still see the color. I love the color. 
As for everything else life related, my grandmother is getting more and more agitated as the days go on. I know that she has issues processing information and feedback. If we tell her to do something (or to not to do something), she is taking it that we do not want her here. Or, she just gets completely irrational. Whatever.
I have kind of gone overboard with the food this weekend. I know I had a huge loss on Saturday so I am not sure why it hasn't motivated me to eat better on the weekends. I love food..period. I have learned to control everything that goes in my mouth Monday through Thursday/Friday. Why am I so lenient with myself on Saturday and Sunday? Do I feel like I have somehow "deserved" to be out of control on those days? I don't know. That's something I want to think about as I continue this journey.
I went walking today! I was so happy that I have gotten up the motivation to go walking. Mocha, my chocolate lab, has been walking with me. See Mocha. 
She is very helpful on my walks. She pulls me up the hills and will not allow me to stop. She keeps going no matter what. However, the only issue we are having is she is scared to death out of the fence (we have a fenced in yard). She does not like seeing other dogs.
I look forward to this week. I really want to begin walking at least 15 minutes everyday. I will post updates on how I am doing with that. I'm going to try to start something new this week with the blog. I want to post "weekly goals" that I will try to achieve.
Goal(s) This Week:
Walk 15 minutes a day
