Finding Crystal: When Is Enough, Enough?: Ever since October 2010 ( you can read about it here ), I have not been myself. There are times that I am scared of my own shadow. There a...

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A Little Less Crystal

Hey everyone! Just letting you know I have kind of hopped blogs. If you are interested in still reading me please visit me at Passionate Crystal located here. I will still be talking about weight loss but the blog itself will not be a "weight loss blog." Thanks for all the support you have shown!

Wow. Just simply WOW. I have so many feelings about this episode. I don't know where to start or where I'm going to end. This was definitely one of the hardest shows I have ever had to watch. This show made my heart hurt more than any other Biggest Loser show or TV show I have ever seen. So, let's get right to it..shall we?

Again, I warn readers, if you are sensitive to language, read with caution.

Important Quotes from Episode 3

"Damn you sprinkles" (said by Rebecca during a challenge which we will get to in a min)
"Two pounds is useless" (said by Bob after a different challenge)
"It's kind of a slap in our face" (said by Bob to Traci after a challenge)
And the funniest one of the night, "I wanna take a cupcake and rub it all over my body" (said by Sean during a challenge)

There was really nothing profound or that hit home with me this week. I was just in utter shock of the craziness of the show that any profound quotes got lost along the way.


Okay, so let's recap. Can we all agree that Tracy is a few fries short of a Happy Meal, elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, etc. I couldn't believe what I was watching. But wait, I am jumping ahead of myself.

This week was a week of "would you rathers." There were several challenges/temptations this week. The first one was a challenge to see if anyone would cross a stick for a two pound advantage. The catch was, if you crossed the line, you didn't get to work with Bob and Jillian. TRACI, yes the one who PASSED OUT the first f**cking day decided this was a good idea for her. Dear Lord in heaven. I swear. The bitch is nucking futs. Bob and Jillian were not happy either. Those Bob quotes up there were towards Traci. *Breathe* is what I wanted to tell Jillian. She really was not happy.

So you would think she learned her lesson? Right?

Up next was a temptation. Now this was one of the most creative I've seen. I personally can eat some cupcakes. I love cupcakes. BAD. So this would have been difficult for me. The idea was that whoever ate the most cupcakes got to pick who's weight counted during the weigh in. So, here we go again. Traci got the wild look in her eye and ate four cupcakes. In all fairness, Antoine ate two cupcakes. So, Traci was in control of the game.

I thought Jillian was going to EXPLODE. The look in her eye was unlike anything I've ever seen. She was beyond furious with Traci. There are not words to explain Jillian's anger so I'm not going to try. Just know, in my home, I was scream expletives at the TV.

So, we did get to the weigh in and Traci just further pissed people off. She was making friends left and right. Sucks to be her. The red team and orange team went below the yellow line and more expletives came out of me. I was and still am so pissed. Jillian did have her say before the weigh in began and this made me feel a bit better. Even Jillian said this was the nastiest game play she has seen. I was also happy Rebecca had a say.

The red team has continued to touch my heart each week. This week, they won me over. Self sacrifice is one of the most humblest things a person can ever do. And that's what they did. They begged the other members to send them home. They had support at home. They could do this. Blah, blah, blah...I hate Traci.

Random Thoughts:

-I hate Traci. Her "that's all?" comment really sent me over the edge at the end.

-Bob "hates the game." Clearly he cares about people.

-I hate Traci. Can we make sure this is clear?

-Bless his heart, Coach Mo was still trying to support his bitch of a partner.

-Each show, Shae touches my heart. She grabs me by my stomach and forces me to look at myself.

-Traci's eyes creep me out. She is CRAZY C-R-A-Z-Y CRAZY

-My heart broke for both teams up for elimination. However, I think the right team stayed.

-I HATE TRACI- She needs to be psychologically evaluated.

Who went home?

We have already discussed this. The red team sacrificed themselves for Shae. Not for Dan. But for Shae. They know she needs to be here. And I cried. HARDER than I ever have.

I was so happy seeing Antoine and Alexandra together. I know they will support each other, lean on each other, and I hope their love continues to grow.

Traci pissed me the f*ck off one last time when she looked smugly at the orange team and said "I told you I wouldn't send Shae home." Bull and shit.

I hate Traci.

**Reading after posting I noticed I didn't say anything about the physical challenge. It wasn't the point of the show tonight. It gave immunity to the green team (which I was happy about) but not the point this week**

Okay, so is it just me or has the show so far had a theme each week? Last week, the theme was to see how many times Jillian said the f-word and how mean Bob could get. This week, the theme was definitely cooperation and coming together as a team. "Everybody loves everybody" is the way one of my co-workers put it. I don't know how I felt about this episode so if the recap is a little mechanical, that is why. I just didn't see any competition and I'm not sure what is up with the pink team. I like that there is no certain team but I feel like the competition is not there yet.

Important Quotes from Episode 2 (There were a lot of them)

"You owe" (said by Coach Mo to Julio)
"It will be done" (said by Coach Mo to the group)
"Gym is like a truth serum" (said by Jillian)
"Gotta let go-let go of mom" (said by Shae)
"This is your life, what are you going to do with it?" (said by Bob to Shae)
"15 of us just told week 2 where to shove it" (said by Shae)

There was also a quote I liked but can't remember the exact words. Bob said it to Shae. It went something like, "It's okay to have feelings but have the strength to deal with them." I loved this quote.


So the stars aligned for Episode 2 and for all the contestants. Traci came back, Sean found out he was having a girl, and no one went home. All challenges, physical and mental, were met. Curtis Stone came in to give a run down about nutrition and various ways of cooking. Then, the teams had to answer questions about what they had learned. Because they won, they had a 15lb advantage.

They also had a physical challenge in which they had to cross narrow beams to platforms. The first two platforms were 5lb platforms. This meant if they got there, they received a 5lb advantage. They got to both so they received the 10lb advantage. The third platform was for phone calls home. They also met this one and got the phone calls. (During one of these, Sean found out he and his wife was having a girl). Then, to get back to the other platform, they would get a 10 more pound advantage. They also did this. I have to admit: I was proud of them. I cried. I honestly didn't think they would make it. For me, this was the best moment.

Random Thoughts:

-Julio really was pissing me off in the beginning. I was thinking he was intentionally sabotaging. In the end, I ate my words. He lost 19lbs...IN WEEK TWO!

-Loved the tug-o-war with Jillian and Rudy. Then Bob joined it and it was hilarious. "Pull Jillian!" "I am pulling Bob!"

-I loved the happy dance from Sean and Antoine. Really made me smile.

-I loved the really touching moment with Bob and Shae. I have a feeling they will continue to wear her down. I don't feel she trusts them completely yet; but I don't know if I would either if I had gone through what she had. I think there is a lot more to her that we haven't seen so far. I hope this becomes therapy for her, and she uses this experience.

-I am liking how Bob and Jillian are working together. I'm also really loving Coach Mo. While I haven't developed a favorite, he's working on it.

-The moment with Traci and Coach Mo was also really touching. I feel he really cares for people and it so shows when he talks with people.

Who went home?

NOBODY! The contestants met the 115lbs they had to lose together. In fact, they exceeded the original 150lb challenge by 5 pounds. Go Season 8!


I have opened Blogger three times wanting to write something. Anything. Something. To make me feel better. To make me feel like less of a bitch. To make the suffocating feeling go away. And I have NOTHING. So, I eat Laffy Taffy. Cause that is the logical thing to do. Eat Laffy Taffy and I will feel better. Or worse.

Change is Coming

And I feel like I'm drowning in it. Change is happening at work and I'm so nervous. The good thing is I STILL HAVE A JOB. I keep repeating this to myself. I still have a job. I still have a place to go to and make money. I will still make my house payment. But there will be some adjusting. I'm moving to a different location but will have the same job.

My second realization is that I am gaining a new family. I'm not very familiar with some of these people. But it's okay. I love Michael and I know he loves me. I can deal with the new family a little bit at a time.

I am still battling the IRS to get my First Time Home Owners tax credit and it feels like a never ending battle. I am drained. I am tired. And I just want it to be over.

On a different note, I lost two pounds last week. I was happy. At this point, I'm just happy maintaining. I know the loss will probably be gained but as long as the scale stays around 245 right now, I'm happy. I will worry about losing when the wedding is over, the IRS mess is over, and the work change is final. I'll always have the family so that's an ongoing process.

Without change there can't be progress right? Yeah, well, I guess.

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