This is how I explained it to Michael on Saturday night. We went out to eat at a Mexican place we both love and Friday night came up. I really forget what he said that made me think he just wasn't getting my issue, but I was trying to find a way to explain Friday night to him.
I started by telling him I had not done something like that in around two years. I had not allowed myself to get that low. I used two analogies to explain what I feel during a binge of emotional eating. One of the first things I explained was that I honestly cannot taste the food I am eating during a binge. It's different than when I sit down to eat a meal. The food I eat during a binge all runs together and nothing is special in each food.
The other way I explained it was that it's like a volcano. Once a volcano starts, you can't stop it. Yes, I can control what I am eating on a normal everyday basis. But it's like I lose count and lose memory of what I am eating. It's a drug or alcohol addict that goes on a binge and can't stop.
My goal is to not let Friday night happen again. I always have this blog to vent out my feelings and write down my thoughts. I also have tons of books to read and movies to watch. Anything is better than eating and destroying my body.
If you are an emotional eater or binge eater, what does it feel like for you? Do you realize what you are eating?
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It's really scary to eat something and then look down and realize that it's all gone! What I'm doing right now is writing down what I eat and writing down how i felt before or after. Did I feel full? stuffed? satisfied? For some people, it may sound like work, but its the only way for me to be accountable.
I always enjoy your comments on my blog!
Hang in there,
Gay
Make or Break